We make unofficial truths official.

AssAwards is the official place to recognize the people, habits, and behavior everyone already knows. Somebody in your life cancels every plan. Somebody explains things nobody asked about. Somebody treats their sleep score like a personality. Everyone knows it. Nobody says it. We built the paperwork.

Established in 2025 as a subsidiary of CEOdom, LLC, AssAwards maintains a growing library of certified roast titles. A nomination takes about a minute: name them, pick their title, state your case. The committee certifies it, the nominee gets a shareable title card, and the truth finally has documentation.

The comedy lives in the copy. The craft lives in everything else: every award is an original illustrated title card that can become a genuinely premium printed certificate or greeting card, shipped to the guilty party's door.

Sarcastic, not mean. Confident, not arrogant. Inclusive in the joke. Smart, not try-hard. Specific, not vague. That is the house style, and all rulings are final.