Shady Ass
"Everything they say sounds like it should be followed by 'off the record.'"
This ass has never thrown a punch in their life and has ended more people than a firing squad, all with a raised eyebrow and a softly placed 'interesting.' They do not gossip. They provide intelligence briefings. The compliment that is secretly an autopsy is their native tongue. You will not realize you have been read to filth until you are already in the car, replaying it, slowly understanding. Confetti-light, surgeon-precise, and always, always smiling. It is not that they are two-faced. Both faces are right there in plain sight. You simply were not watching the one doing the damage.
Know someone who has earned the Shady Ass? Put them up for it.
