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Shirts & Hoodies

Twenty-five findings, now available in cotton. Wearing one is considered an admission.

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25 awards, tee or hoodie

Dumb Ass Tee
“Too confident to Google, too loud to ignore.”
$34.99
Bad Ass Tee
“Every great story starts with ‘Guess what’.”
$34.99
Smart Ass Tee
“Has never let being wrong stop a correction.”
$34.99
Cheap Ass Tee
“Full price is a personal failure.”
$34.99
Lazy Ass Tee
“Three hours avoiding a ten-minute task.”
$34.99
Hard Ass Tee
“Standards: impossible and still not enough.”
$34.99
Jack Ass Tee
“The reason warning labels exist.”
$34.99
Bougie Ass Tee
“Their taste and income have never met.”
$34.99
Woke Ass Tee
“I’m offended on your behalf. You’re welcome.”
$34.99
Petty Ass Tee
“Still mad about something from 2017.”
$34.99
Salty Ass Tee
“Still mad about a game nobody remembers.”
$34.99
Shady Ass Tee
“Even their alibi comes with redactions.”
$34.99
Fake Ass Tee
“Has more personalities than actual friends.”
$34.99
Wise Ass Tee
“Would rather be funny than invited back.”
$34.99
Extra Ass Tee
“Every story needs three outfit changes.”
$34.99
Messy Ass Tee
“Every disaster has their fingerprints.”
$34.99
Crazy Ass Tee
“Every group chat has a chat without them.”
$34.99
Kiss Ass Tee
“Every boss is apparently a comedian.”
$34.99
Bossy Ass Tee
“Wasn’t elected. Runs everything anyway.”
$34.99
Loud Ass Tee
“Makes a whisper sound like an emergency.”
$34.99
Party Ass Tee
“Invited for fun. Remembered for damage.”
$34.99
Broke Ass Tee
“Checks their balance before a free event.”
$34.99
Drunk Ass Tee
“Treats last call like a personal attack.”
$34.99
Sleepy Ass Tee
“Needs a nap after thinking about getting up.”
$34.99
Tight Ass Tee
“Would lose a friend to save on parking.”
$34.99

Size is chosen at secure Stripe checkout.

Printed in the US
$4.99 shipping per item
Arrives in 5 to 8 business days
Secure Stripe checkout